I take micro-breaks at work to peruse the headlines on Google News. (I have an Ultimate Badge for reading articles about Google, which means I've read 7 times as many Google articles as the average reader. Take that, bitches.)
I often just skim the headlines, unless an article seems particularly interesting, and then I might click through to the full article. Today's break revealed a whole treasure trove of wonderful headlines that don't even require me to read the article because I already know what they say.
1. "Gingrich Moon Colony Idea Not Well Thought Out, Glenn Says" - SFGate
No shit, Sherlock. Neither were any of his marriages, his policies as Speaker of the House, and his hairstyle.
2. "Jobs, Jobs and Cars" - New York Times
This reminded me of the recent Oxford Comma Meme. "Jobs, meet Jobs and Cars. Jobs and Cars and I go way back, to before you founded Apple! Heh, heh."
3. "Paula Deen Shocked by Lack of Public Support Following Diabetes Announcement" - Huffington Post
Um, sorry no one feels bad that you ate yourself into oblivion and gave yourself a preventable illness and are now profiting from it.
4. "Be Prepared to Sell Your Soul If You Use Google" - Forbes
Bitch, please. I sold my soul to Google when my husband started working there.
Considering all they really want is data about how I use the web, I'm pretty much cool with that. If selling my soul to Google means that I can find crap I don't need and crap I can laugh at that much faster, fine. Selling my soul is a small price to pay for having nice things.
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